Ramblings of Pale Purple
by Enter the Extinct Age
Summary: Lavender Brown never felt as if she were up to scratch with the rest of her graduating class. From plans gone awry to the green eyed monster, she never felt like she fit in. partly my reaction to the R/L ship, please r/r


Just something I thought would be good to write about…review please!

**Disclaimer**: I don't own Lavender Brown or any of the Harry Potter related things in this story.  I also don't believe in some of Lavender's (or the one I created's) beliefs, so please don't flame me for them!

**Lavender Brown's POV, Post-Hogwarts Graduation**

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        Why do teenagers put such an emphasis on attention from the opposite sex?  I'm twenty four now and every time I see a picture of me from my Hogwarts days I cringe.  It's bad enough that I felt that the peroxide bottle was the solution to all my problems, but then you see my eyes flicker towards some bloke walking by, hands in his pockets and looking involved in whatever his thoughts are.  It's disgusting.  I used to crawl all over them, just to feel the thrill that _someone wanted me_. 

         Me and Pav (Parvati Patil to you lot) used to make a game out of it; how many guys could you get to stare?  She always won, and it's really not hard to see why.  With her dark, exotic eyes and long flowing raven hair she was a stunner.  Nothing particularly noteworthy underneath the surface, but that's not what guys wanted to note.  I looked quite pale in comparison; I had mousy brown hair (pre-peroxide) and short.  I've only just hit five foot actually.  She was at least five six.  The only good thing about my face at all was my eyes…dark blue, not watery like my mum's.  Pav used to tease me and say that I'd spent too much time in the ocean as a kid (I lived in Dover, right by the coast and the white cliffs).  

        I remember that in my sixth year (blonde and blue eyed now), there were rumours that the great Ron Weasley, faithful friend to Harry Potter and class clown, wanted to go out with _me_.  Interesting, that.  Parvati was so jealous, I still remember her face to this day.  But I found that when he actually walked up to me (practically having to stoop to look in my eyes) and actually asked me to Hogsmeade…_I_ didn't want _him_.  You see, at the time, Harry Potter was dating Hermione Granger, resident brain with the 'girl next door' appeal.  I had seen Ron's face when he saw them together, and I can tell you, it was not a happy one.  Chances are, his seeking me was merely a way of getting at Harry and Hermione, letting them know that he was sought after too.  That he had appeal.  I didn't want to get in the middle of that, I took a pass.  He was flabbergasted, to say the least.  I remember being uncharacteristically serious and telling him, point blank, that if he wanted Hermione he'd better go get her, because she sure as hell didn't want Harry as much as she was letting on.  

        After Ron took my advice and moved on, I didn't know quite what to do with myself.  Although his offer wasn't my cup of tea, it had made me feel special for that brief moment in time before I refused it.  And I realized what it is that girls really want in a guy…or at least what _I wanted.  _

        Draco Malfoy was mean spirited, witty and sarcastic at best but immature and rash at worst.  Even though it was common knowledge that he came from a family of the Dark Lord's exclusive evil circle, his 'back off' attitude and tousled blond hair made half the girls swoon.  The other half was the Harry Potter worshippers.  Unfortunately, I was no exception to the accidental Malfoy Charm.  Every time he'd walk by I'd think of how smashing it'd be if I were the one on his arm, the girl that all the others envied, the girl that all the other guys wished they had.  That was how it was with Malfoy's girls you see.  He'd pick one up, show her off and then some other guy would come swooping along and take her away for themselves.  It was actually a very efficient way to date from the girl's perspective, and Malfoy knew this quite well.  By going out with her he'd publicize her in a sense, and a much more deserving and earnest bloke would see her and want her.  So it was only natural that a girl wished she could be the Auction Item for once; maybe she'd find someone decent.  

        So one day in sixth year (post Ron incident), I get all dolled up in my dorm before going down to breakfast.  Blonde hair wavy and cascading down my back, eyes bright and alert with my Muggle eye drops, form fitting Muggle flares paired with a designer wizard top, my only one.  I was extremely pleased with my appearance, and made a point of parading by Dean and Seamus once before making my grand entrance into the Great Hall.  Bingo.  Their eyes practically fell out of their heads and onto the polished floor Filch worked so hard to keep clean.  I don't think he'd be too pleased with eyeballs rolling on the floor.  Anyway, I pushed open the Portrait Hole and strutted down the stairs, making sure not to misplace my spiked heel on the carpet.  Today was the day that Draco Malfoy and all the other boys in Hogwarts would notice Lavender Brown; not Parvati, not Hermione, not Blaise Zabini of Slytherin dorm lore, but little Lavender Brown.  I took a deep breath and walked through the doors of the Great Hall, expecting the reactions to fly thick and fast.

        No such luck.  It always works out that way, right?  Turns out that 'little' Ginny Weasley was an even earlier riser than me, and better with her wand at that.  I've never seen a girl surrounded by so many guys at once!  I remember standing there in complete shock, my boots suddenly seeming silly and whorish, my hair overdone and prissy.  I'll give the girl credit: she really knows her stuff.  She had taken the Girl Next Door look and elevated it several levels, giving her a radiant glowing look.  I had never known anyone with red hair before, but suddenly I didn't need to to know how good it could look. 

         I watched as the guy _I was going to rope walked right by me and somehow managed to get into the circle around Ginny. He eventually left with her without a second glance at the short girl by the doors.  My fingernails dug deep into my palms, creating little half moon dents that didn't un-crease for hours.  It made me so mad to think that someone else had stolen _my_ golden tiara, the one __I wanted so badly!  I had nothing else to do but walk back out and, with great restraint, slow down my rapid, violent thoughts and take deep breaths. The cattiness of teenage girls is frightening; even the mental, individual fights are a horror to behold.   _

        I hated that I had lost a chance at being noticed by a guy on purpose, I hated that I had lost a chance at being the It Girl of Hogwarts by accident, I hated that my lot in life seemed to be so pale and weedy in comparison to everyone else's.  Hogwarts is a magical place, with sparkling people and heroes that are born into every year.  Harry was no looker, but he saved hundreds of lives by the time he was out of Hogwarts, and Ron and Hermione assisted him every time.  Parvati was the beautiful one, Dean could draw like Degas and Seamus was cracking at Quidditch.  Ginny aided Madam Pomfrey in the Hospital Wing and enjoyed it, due to her incredible talent with healing potions.  Even Neville had something, a green thumb in Herbology.  All I had was this incredible jealousy of my dazzling peers that built up into this-this raging _inferno_ of anger!

        Silly Lavender. You'll never be any color but that- boring, pallid, washed out Lavender, with the color of dirt to match tagged onto the end of my name…

        Thus ends the ramblings of Lavender Brown.


End file.
